Just a little too perky for me!

(Author's note: I was in a bad mood before I ever entered the door. I'll give this program a shot....I just needed to vent to someone!)

Alright....the dreaded evening has arrived and I went to my first WW meeting since starting on this journey to a healthy lifestyle.

It's the first of the year and every woman over the age of 6 is there to join. I live in a small rural community where the post office closes for an hour and a half every afternoon for lunch. There is no movie theater and only one grocery store. So I'm beginning to think that maybe this is the towns only source of entertainment.

I quickly scan the room feeling sure that I'm the fattest person there. I win! I was! The meeting begins with horn honking, and atta boys.

Miss Chirpy (names have been changed to protect the innocent) begin the celebration by asking who has some thing to brag about this week? (The room goes strangely silent and the entire front row starts looking at their shoes.) Miss Chirpy, persists.....how bout you Miss Pencil Thin, any closer to zipping up those size O designer jeans?

Well, she says shyly, "I did lose a quarter pound!" " Whoopeee, " Miss Chirpy shouts......that's a whole stick of butter! (every one begins to clap enthusiastically). I look at my backside and see a whole side of beef hiding back there while she's gloating over a stick of butter! I'm beginning to feel ill as Miss Chirpy continues to bounce over the room sprinkling endless enthusiasm and cliches.

Next the lecture begins in earnest. There are 4 questions.

Miss Chirpy: Is there any area of your life that you would like to see improvement?

Me:(hmm....let me think, I'm at a WW meetings, what could I possibly need to improve my life.....I hope all these questions aren't going to be this hard.)

Miss Chirpy: What do you need to do to make these improvements?

Me: (....again, I'm at WW meetings what COULD I do to make these improvements? I need to write these questions down. I know I'll write them on this little book they gave me......hey, would you look....this may be the answer to my prayers!)

Miss Chirpy: CAN you make those changes and improvements?

Me: (thinking again, I'm not over weight, I'm just under tall....taking out slide rule thingy in book....by my calculations I should be 7 feet 2 inches tall!)

Miss Chirpy: (leaping right in front of me pointing her finger accusingly) "Will YOU make those changes!" she screams!

Me: "Lord Jesus YES, ( anything just get me out of here!")

Wild enthusiastic cheers and applause break out spontatously as the town's fat person has been dramatically converted to the right way, the weight watcher way! Now the towns folk can sleep in their beds tonight without fear of being eaten.

Well.....maybe it didn't exactly happen that way....but it did to my way of thinking!

Posted by Lazy Daisy at 9:44 PM 21 comments