
Who knew that mounting the horse would be so difficult? Once you've hit the ground it's much harder to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and say, "Whoo hoo, that was fun, let try it again!"
I got off track Monday night....alright I told myself. " Get back on that horse! " But the horse wouldn't bend down and there was no ladder to boost myself up.
I had to say "goodbye" to my friends that have been here working at the mission for the last few days and it was really hard to see them leave. We have so many containers coming up in the next few weeks and so little help to fill them that it is easy to be overwhelmed.
So.....I went back to emotional eating. It was comforting and familiar. It embraced me as a long lost lover. It soothed me and promised always to be there no matter what. It was sweet and momentarily made me feel better. That was last night in cover of darkness.
It's morning now, the sun is out and the scale is moving in the wrong direction.
Ahhh yes, I remember now. Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving!
But yet......there's another voice going off in my head too that says:
Relax. You're not being graded, and you're not in a race. If you fall off the horse just get right back on. It's not productive to beat yourself up for the missed opportunities or to bemoan the lack of self- discipline. It is, what it is....a lapse. Just start again with energy and a renewed sense of purpose, and use the fresh start to get some new ideas about what's important to you and how to achieve your goals.
What's in your way right now? What can you do today that will improve your life? What are the hot issues for this week?
So here I am. Back on the horse.
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